More Sandy than Kevin

 

 

 

 

5.10d/5.11a **

 

 

 

Sport Single Pitch

 

 

 

See this guy?  He is what you should not do.  He is not a fine person of upstanding characteristics or manners.  He is the feared "Portland Climber!"  They have grabbed some plastic a time or two and come out and think the tuft at Smith is the same jug-fest they are used to cranking on in the gyms.  I have run into this guy two times. 

The first, Steph, was leading Out of Harm's way.  This route shares the same crack trad lead as In Harm's Way.  There aren't many other climbs right in that vicinity so Travis and I kind of looked at each other exchanging the same "Where is he going to climb?" face when we saw this guy and his wife racking up and flaking their rope.  We saw that he was getting ready to lead under her rope and through her trad gear.  She was only half way up the route.  I looked over at him and asked him which climb he was going to do.  He pointed to In Harm's Way and looked at me.  I told him Steph was already leading on this route.  He nodded dumbly and explained he understood, he would just go under her rope.  Travis explained that wasn't really that cool, but he didn't really seem to care.  I could see his wife was getting concerned.  I explained that he wasn't getting on this route, not while I was belaying.  He started to get pretty pissed and I just sat there until his wife piped up that they would wait.  He waited, pissed off the entire time until we got our gear out.  It left a bad taste in all of our mouths.  There are 1,500 climbs in that park, go find a different route, bitch.

The next time was in the early spring of 2005 about a year after the first encounter.  He was sitting on a climb on the Phoenix Wall when we approached.  Steph and I both remembered him but it took a while for us to place him.  We left the wall and went to the Christian Brothers for the morning.  Later that day, we wandered up to the Shipwreck Wall.  I hadn't ever climbed in here and was excited to hit some of these climbs.  He and his wife were coming down the gully.  I think he knew who I was by this point.  Steph and I were racked up and the knots were being tied into the rope.  He walks up and asks if we are going to climb this route, pointing vaguely at the exact climb we are standing in front of.  Looking at the route, the only route, in front of us, I pointed to it and said, "this one?"  He nodded impatiently.  Steph said "Yeah."  She said it kind of snotty, too.  Which was cool.

He asked if both of us were going to climb it.  I nodded impatiently.  He asked if there was anyone else who was going to climb it.  I told him insofar as I know their would be a small Irish Parade that may or may not show up at this climb between the time our rope was sitting there...or not.  He stomped off down to where Brian was climbing and began his silly little circus of the obvious all over again.  He ended up hopping onto someone else's rope and making them stay longer than they wanted.  Needless to say, I wouldn't say I am a "fan."