You owe me...
Three Dollars!!!
Fear and Loathing In Maupin, Oregon
We pulled out nice and early the next morning. The Asbestos Kid had wanted to try out the kayak for a bit and we agreed to hand the reigns over after the morning wore on. We set off with the clinking of beers. The Asbestos Kid had found a cache of Guiness and was busying himself with some wireless programming. Dane-O and I busied ourselves by trying to ride out small rapids standing up in the raft. Needless to say it was not only really hard to do, but it was cold doing it too. It wasn't the warmest of days and both Dane-O and I were about ready to get some more clothes on and stay out of the wind.
The canyon was really beautiful, twisting and turning with large, yellow shoulders crowding us upon the towers of complete choss. As we got farther down, the hunters and houses started coming into focus along the riverbanks, first a few here and there and then a steady stream of them as everyone tries to get their own personal slab of nature.
Around noon we found a few spikes of rock and a bank next to it for lunch and some rock jumping. Dane-O and I climbed up to respective ledges mine a bit lower and jumped off the cliff's into the river. It was one of those system shocks that causes your body to spasm in reverse and twist into a knot of over-preparedness. It took a while before my diaphram was even allowed to move. You have to paddle furiously to the side of the river, trying to avoid a large, cutting water chanel around the rock. We had peanut butter sandwiches with chips and salsa and hopped back on the river.
The Asbestos Kid hopped into the raft with me for a quick spin. I am still not sure of his nautical skills, but I didn't have much time before Diamond Jim asked if I would take the helm of the H.M.S. Enterpoop and give him the raft with The Kid. We swapped out and took off. There was an off-shoot to the left of the river and Dane-O and I goaded them into taking it. Figuring if we could do it in the kayak, I could do it with this raft. The off-shoot went around the corner and had a whipper of a two thirds circle coming back into the river. I got stuck at one point and had to drop in a bank eddy and get back into it. Once back in the channel, we quickly got back into the river. I noticed The Asbestos Kid getting back into the kayak just after the end of the rapid.
Evidently his nautical skills were enough to dump the kayak in the rapid with a retired professional rafter. Diamond Jim paddled with conviction up to the raft with a rather annoyed expression at our grins. He asked to have his raft back in a determined tone. I asked him why and he responded with some explitives and direct talk. Dane-O and I hopped back into the kayak and we took off.
The wind was really starting to pick up, the sun hiding behind clouds and the temperature was really not what I would refer to as "balmy." Even with paddle jackets on we were both starting to get cold. We hit a couple of fun rapids along the way; Buckskin Mary and Boxcar. We tried to get the beta on the rapid from Diamond Jim but he would only tell is it really didn't matter because we were going to flip anyways. Abandon ye Hope to all Who Would Enter. As we were passing a takeout area, a boat filled with a guide and his bivvy yelled "You will need more boat!" Both Dane-O and I were confused and worried about this statement mixed with "It didn't really matter."
We got to watch a boat drop over the edge of the event horizen of the river as it fell into Boxcar. Dane-O and I strapped in with the aplomb of a man having his penis laughed at by a group of no less than five women. Seeing the river swallow the boat was unnerving but didn't necessarily portend of a huge rapid, but it was going to be a significant rapid. The auspices had been good all trip and we figured we had a covey of Augers and the Pontifex Maximus at our back. NO BLACK DOGS, NO BLACK DOGS!!!
Boxcar was a chump. We hit it hard on the right and stayed clear of the hole on the left and avoiding being sucked into a recycling boulder washing machine. The rest of the ride into Maupin was tiring and cold. The city of Maupin charges you THREE DOLLARS a boat and two dollars a kayak, just to step onto their concrete. I am not sure why I was so outraged, but I was. I changed clothes and we all packed the vehicle up, putting the raft and kayak away. Before we left, I wanted to get a sledgehammer out get my three dollars worth of use out of their concrete, but as this was "bad manners" I was told under no uncertain terms this would be a move without couth.
